Tea with Bette D
Innocent Gossip from the Trenches
Sunday, November 17, 2002
Greetings, salutations and a grand USofA welcome to the final day of the
Miss Gay USofA at Large Pageant. The week has been fabulous and the
contestants even better. ho could ask for a better bunch of people to
make the subject of my writings.
Today we begin with the star of stars
Miss Alicia McStone.
You may ask why the new name, but from what I witnessed she is the newest
item on McDonald’s drive thru menu. Let me take you on a creative journey
to a Mickey D’s near you. A hot tranzie pulls into the drive thru U-Haul
and all. However the dear trailer will not make it though the drive-thru
lane. What is a girl to do? Well in this case, Alicia got out of the car
went window to window, asked the poor people behind her to back up, then
began to direct traffic in High Whore Drag.
Not to be outdone in her moment of glory she curtsied to the obliging cars
and displayed her hard earned plaque. When I eventually made it to the
drive thru window, the lovely crew member informer me that that was no
woman. It was a MAN in a dress. Who knew clocked by the minimum wage
chick.
As long as we are on the subject of Florida girls, let us revisit the saga
of
Gabby,
Miss Skinny. Seems your reporter jumped the gun yesterday. She had not
had sex with the poor latin man at the time we went to press. She did
correct the problem yesterday, just not right away. If you have not had
the chance to meet
Alexis,
she is a lovely person, sweet and kind. Her lips may be a little messed up
at night, but it is all good.
If you think that Miss USofA has been busy already, just wait. If
Michael B
doesn't get laid quickly he is going to have some of her.
The official USofA math professor has rolled into town. Yes,
Miss Norell
is here. I understand that she will not have time to be teaching any new
math lessons. Her time is way to valuable, oh and she is busy modeling
her chocolate covered cock ring. I don't know what a fish stick like that
needs one for, but its all her business.
It was nice to see
Cliffy
back in his groove this week. I think every time he sits down at the bar,
it is with a new gentleman caller.
I hope
Miss Mona
had a great days sleep yesterday. She was sorely missed all afternoon and
evening. She could be a contestant for Miss Popularity if she would get
out of bed on time.
A special howdy and good morning to the cigarette police that are posted
at the front desk. They are ever vigilant on protecting the lobby goers
from the evils of smoking. Thank God they aren't checking out the rooms.
Actually I want to say hello to everyone on the hotel staff. We love you,
you guys are great. I love me some psss-getti for lunch.
Did anyone check out that hot looking piece of trade at the club last
night? I think it was judge
Lynn S
on the prowl for some hot manstud. From what I hear, he has a hankering
for some loving.
Howdy to the official Miss USofA chef
Bridgette Lee,
seems she brought more than the George Foreman rumor has it she was
serving Sloppy Joes last night. I just want to know who Joe is and does
he provide room service.
Quick follow up on the other days column, seems that
Jasen (with an “E”)
from West Virginia was being a wonderful host for the East Coast. And he
did not even need to make his friend come to the Day’s Inn. Now I am not
one to gossip, but he was last seen entering a suite on 2 for the
evening. Inquiring minds want to know.
A special shout out to all of our internet friends. Especially to the
staff of our favorite online hangout ( away from usofa.org)
Carriefairfield.com who have arrived for the big transvestigating
festival.
In case you have spent too much money on this pageant, and have no rent
money when you get home,
Johnelle Vincent
is opening up a homeless shelter as we speak. If you have a “will work
for food” sign, she will take you in.
Well kids, till May, and the 2003 Miss Gay USofA Pageant comes around and
we all meet up in Big D, be good, play safe and remember I am always and
forever….
Yours,
Bette
Saturday, November 16, 2002
Just remember that it is all in fun, and should be taken
lightly.
Greetings, salutations and a
grand Saturday morning welcome to interview in Winston-Salem. The contest
has been great and the gossip even better. Last night was a fabulous
night in Holiday Inn Land.
When I returned to the hotel
last night, my floor was alive with the scents of cooking food. What
could better symbolize the At Large system than the George Foreman grill
hanging out in
Bridgette
Lee’s suite.
Speaking of food, if it was
a little loud last night, the sounds coming from
Chocolate
Thunderpussy’s room were not wild sex, she just had a fresh
delivery of fried chicken. She even has a recipe that she is willing to
share with anyone.
How bout that weather we
have been having here in North Carolina. If I didn’t know any better, I
would swear I was in the Great White North.
Miss Mona,
what exactly is the weather forecast for tomorrow?
Mystyk
has been quite the busy little girl this week. Seems she got caught in
the middle of a compromising act with a young man from West Virginia. I
guess you don’t need to travel all the way to the Day’s Inn for trade,
just make it come to your room.
Our reigning symbol of
skinny girl excellence has arrived in Winston-Salem. Pure flower that I
am, I do not know why, but she was last seen running down the hall and
into a room to have trade. What is trade, and why does that poor boy have
to be called that?
It is nice to see the
welcome wagon out and about. If you are looking for cliff, try the lobby
at the continental breakfast. I don’t think he was there for the muffins,
(well maybe the stud-muffins)
Did everyone enjoy rehearsal
yesterday? I guess someone on the pageant staff enjoyed it more than
others. I guess happy hour starts earlier in Eastern Standard Time.
Seems we had some unexpected
visitors in the dressing room. I guess someone has issued a new pass, the
drunk backstage pass. Security was called and the out of drag queens
cleared him out. In addition, it was cute to see the chicken wander into
the dressing room to get to the patio. After telling off the staff, they
got stranded out there in the rain. Bar security promptly let them in so
that they could be escorted out.
The MC has been fabulous,
this year instead of reading the DJ, the MC wants to rape him. I hear she
will even let his wife watch. On a serious note, thanks to
TAZ,
you have been fantastic all week. We Love Us some
Taz
It was quite interesting
down in the lobby this early am.
Miss Dorae
was holding court and teaching a class in drag 101. the class was
well attended. Her star pupil was
Miss Elain.
Class went well until
Dorae
and Elain
were threating to throw chairs at each other. I have not seen so much
reading in school lately. All I can say is
Dorae
was overheard explaining I am a woman, not a lady, a woman. This was
immediately after throwing a punch.
Some one please fill me in
on Dena Cass,
she has been way to mellow this
week. In fact I have not heard of any misbehaving yet. This is not
natural. It makes me afraid, very afraid.
Well, tonight is the stars show. Tonight the hot stud on the judges panel
will turn into a woman. No
Kimbol,
you don’t have to do drag tonight. I was referring to
Denise Russell.
Well till tomorrow and the dawn of final night, be good, play safe and
remember I am always and forever….
Yours,
Bette
Friday November 15, 2002
Greetings, salutations,
and a grand North Carolina welcome to Friday morning and the Miss Gay
USofA at Large Pageant. It has been 6 months since I last put pen to
paper and what a wild six months it has been. I even had the chance to
attend another National Pageant while I waited anxiously for this year’s
event. I had the distinct, ummmmmmm pleasure of attending Miss Gay
America in Little Rock to cheer on Kofi in her quest for the
MGA crown. It was quite the experience at Discovery. There, nuff
said.
We may be 1000 miles from Dallas, but some things
never change. Cliffy, the official USofA welcome wagon is here and
ready to make everyone feel, well welcome. Well, that is if you can find a
chance to visit him. Chasity Nichols seems to be a little smitten
with Cliff. Or is it his close friend Big Balls Fontaine. Don’t worry
Cliff, as long as you wear baggy pants no one will give you a new
nickname.
Another of our close friends, Miss Amaya Mann
had a lot of fun on Wednesday night. Seems that we might need to changer
her name to Miss Amaya Drunk. She gave new meaning to the phrase,
“falling down drunk”.
Wednesday also saw the return of Uncle Andrew
of Florida fame. I really hate to disappoint him, but we still seems to
have some very creative assortments of boys in very little clothes at
USofA functions. Even without him we find ways to have lots o’ fun.
It is wonderful to see Johnelle Vincent
here. We love it when she comes down to visit from the great white North
they like to call Springfield, IL. How is the weather up there, cold and
white?
As a special service, if your dancers don’t make it
down to the continental breakfast, Kofi is offering a special USofA
wakeup. It comes with your own taste of Kofi and some extra cream and
sugar.
It was wonderful to see the lovely Springpatch bois
back again. Miss Flava seems to certainly make the rounds of the
National Pageants. She has bragged about going to many of the USofA
nationals. I guess she had to be about 16 years old at her first one, to
have been to that many and only be 21 now.
A special shout out to Kimbol P, Mr USA
1998. he is always a model gentleman. I just don’t know how well he will
behave with out his chaperone, Ron T, here to guide him. Are there
any volunteers to help out Kimbol this week.
Just a warning, Michael B, from Florida is
single, white, and looking. He introduces himself as “Hi, I am in room
324. If you are a bottom, tired of all the other bottoms, come see me.
You will definitely leave here satisfied.” To the volleyball boy, Michael
has a game with a net he wants to play with you. If you worried about the
hour, don’t fret, Michael reassures us that they have a 24 hour service.
In fact, it has been stated that at Florida USofA they give a
complimentary suite as long as they can wine and dine you. Well, maybe
not the dine, but the rest will stand true.
The travel business must be slowing down. Lou H
was last seen practicing his new occupation, standing at the front door
and pimping out “older gentlemen”. If you have a desire to broaden your
horizons, see Lou. He has a stable of seasoned professionals.
A special message to the straight boy that was
hanging out with Everette and friends. The shooters are fun, but
the boys are funner. Miss Bonet thinks that you are definitely
“Bonet-friendly” but that you need to have some black in your life.
Speaking of Miss Tifany, she has been quite
friendly this week, so far. She can be found hiding out in a dark corner
of the bar scoping out the studs. Are you on the menu as well.
I would like to put out a great big howdy and yee-haw
to Jasen (the “e” is for easy) from West Virginia. It seems that
there are still cowboys out there that like a little hog-tying every now
and then. And don’t take my word for it. Just a side note, if you are not
into that, I hear that his buddy Todd sure likes a game of strip
poker. It is just so sad that to partake in these festivities you need to
travel all the way to the Day’s Inn. Who wants to travel just for trade.
We all need to keep track of Vannessa Vann.
She was spotted late in the evening trying to beat up a fellow contestant
in the corner of the dressing room. Be careful or you could be the next
victim.
As we put a close to our first full day of pageanty,
it becomes clear that this will be a week of great competitions on stage
as well as vying for a spot in this column. So until the sun rises on
another Winston-Salem Saturday morning, be good, play safe and remember I
am always and forever….
Yours,
Bette
Previous Editions of the Tea
Miss
Gay USofA 2002
Miss Gay USofA
at Large 2001
Miss Gay USofA at
Large 2000
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