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Tea with Bette D.
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Tea with Bette D.
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Greetings, Salutations and a grand USofA welcome to the second annual Miss Gay USofA Classic Pageant. We are here in Dallas to crown 2 new symbols of Excellence and celebrate 20 years of our beloved system.
Each day of the week, I will greet you with all the inside dish on the behind the curtain festivities of our Dallas get together.
Remember it is all in fun, and nobody can escape.
Now, where to start this annual tea party??? Hmmm? I guess we can begin with Sheldon, our beloved stage manager. Seems he has brought along his new husband, Red, to experience his first National Pageant. Please all of you USofA veterans, be nice to the poor boy. I do not think he has any clue what he is in for. Break him in gently
A special HiDiddlyDo to fellow information specialist, Carrianne Winters. It is wonderful to see your smiling face. Now all of my loyal readers know, it would not be an official “Tea” if your name did not appear in it somewhere. All we need is Miss Connie Jo, and the family reunion will be complete.
The sun shone bright yesterday and the Dallas heat was rising. It got so hot on the 21st floor that there were a few moons shining. Now I am not one to mention any names, Brody-Ricky, but these two staffers need to remember to leave there pants on when entertaining guests. Okay, Ricky will be entertaining all week and I think he may lose his pants more than once.
Today’s quote for the day: I like the little ones, they are cute and all. But the big ones sure are nice. Thanks to Miss Ricky for those words of advice.
I must say, it is great that my dear sister, CHo has returned from her self imposed exile. I do not think I have had the privilege of seeing her since our last gathering in St. Louis. And I thought she was not returning to us, until we provided more of the nekid boys she loved so much. Well, there are always backup dancers providing private showings. Celeste has informed us all that today is naked day. She has nothing to wear (thanks to the baggage handlers at the airport) so she will not take a shower and then run around in the buff until her clothes arrive.
I feel happy to announce that two of our esteemed contestants greeted everyone in the lobby of the hotel with a hearty helping of church. It’s just to bad that Purrssia and Fantasya got such greasy hands holding onto the communion plate.
The party boys, RT and KP have arrived as well. And they certainly have made a splash around Dallas. Now I was not the witness, but reliable sources say that Kimbol was last seen dragging a tall, well endowed young black man into the bathrooms at Station 4 to examine his Prince Albert. You go boy.
Last nights show at the Rose Room was quite stunning. In the big closing production there were a few guest stars. Nathan and Scott were the hot new backup dancers
A special thank you to Reggie from the front desk. He has done a great job making sure that everyone for the pageant gets everything they need. Now, he could probably be more efficient if we could pry Billy Bones away from the front desk. Now, Billy has been heard trying to claim that he is a shy boy when he goes out to the bar. So if you see him standing there and he is looking lost, send him a instant message via Gay.com. He is much less shy when he is hiding behind a screen name.
This just in, Billy was spotted while 4 double A batteries were falling out of the bottom of his shorts. Just what kind of device that runs on batteries do you find in those most private of places.
It is great to see Miss Kelly Jo Klien in the house today. She seems to be quite the fan of Whitney these days. I guess she is on a souvenir buying spree. If you have any real good Whitney mementoes, let her know.
Speaking of unmentionable mementoes, can someone please explain the window banner I saw while cruising the Dallas shopping extravaganzas. What exactly is a convertible bra. And more importantly how does it still give support when the top is down. Even not knowing exactly what one is, Daesha has put in her order for two.
It was quite reassuring to pull into the hotel parking lot and seeing the big yellow schoolbus parked out front. It just isn't the same without it. Earl will probably begin giving tours any night now.
So until tomorrow sees us with a new Miss Gay USofA Classic and the start of the 20th Miss Gay USofA Pageant, I remind you to be good, play safe and remember I am always and forever…
Yours,
Bette
Greetings, Salutations and a grand USofA welcome to the TWENTIETH Annual Miss Gay USofA Pageant. This is the biggest week in the history of USofA Pageants. And we are all here to enjoy it. For those of you that are still here from the Miss Gay USofA Classic pageant, I hope you continue to enjoy this, your morning cup of tea. For all of you who are just joining us, pull up a chair and enjoy.
First off, we need to start with the one and only Billy Bones of Goddess Jewelry fame. He was last seen modeling his classy Skivvies in the elevator in the wee hours of the morning.
It was lovely to go and enjoy the wonderful pool deck last night. The boys were definitely out last night. And when I say boys, I believe a few of last night’s party animals were barely out of eighth grade.
Now, never one to let a poor young man be lonely, it seems that Earl has been fulfilling his civic duty. I guess we can say the Big Yellow Schoolbus is back in action. I guess that the first rider was a young man from Dallas’s local schools, Mr. David.
On the 21st floor, the theme song should be Joy to the World. It seems that there was a lot of fun going on in Miss Joy Marneir’s boudoir. Now I must admit, I was not privy to what was happening, but spend a few minutes outside her door and you can hear the party.
A special USofA welcome to Mr. Continental, Antonio Edwards. Now I do not want to misreport anything, BUT apparently he went off to go to bed for the evening on the 11th Floor. Hotel records indicate he is not registered on that floor. HMMMM I wonder if he could be heading off to Sean’s love nest?
Since we brought up the Florida gang. For the record, Monica More is still desperately in love with Lou. Just to avoid any conflicts of interest she will gladly give up her role as a contestant for a few moments of quality time with Mr. H.
A special congratulations goes out to Miss Daesha on a winning streak. This is now one show in a row with out any wardrobe malfunctions. Here’s to an award winning streak.
This is just in, Kelexis has issued an all points bulletin for a missing baton. If you happen to see it, give her a call, but do not approach it. It should be considered armed and dangerous. On a more serious note, the baton does have great sentimental value to her. She spent a wonderful evening stealing from her trade’s car.
I guess Kimbol is looking for a new flavor of cologne. His favorite scent, “I smell a 3 way”. I think it is a knock-off of Giorgio Red. The real confusion is this: Is #3 the husband or KP’s hotel roomie.
It was lovely to see Roxy’s dancers practicing their provocative postures in the dressing room. It was so steamy, Miss Onxy (while in high whore drag) was attempting to free willy and make babies right there on the spot in front of the mirror tower.
If you are looking for a tour of the city, Evian is giving a guided tour of the local bookstores. She even has a pocket full of tokens ready to be used.
For the record, the computers in the hotel business center do connect to Gay.com.
Speaking of Gay.com. My reliable sources indicate that the Dallas rooms have been quite full lately. But it is amazing how many people’s profiles indicate an out of state home and that they are visiting for this week only. Now, we don’t want to expose all of the guilty parties but if you need more information on gay.coming, you can just ask Josh from MO, Billy B, or even Evian. I am sure that there are quite a few more that just haven’t been caught quite yet.
An update from the last edition, C-Ho had to cancel naked day when her luggage finally arrived. However, she is scheduling private short term naked hours in her suite.
For those of you that are obsessed with breastes...There was a nice show in the hot tub last night. Flash Flash anyone.
It was nice to see everyone’s favorite hotel desk clerk in the Rose Room last night. I wonder if he provides his customary good service even after his shift is over. If so, I am sure there were a few happy boys last night.
A special thank you to Brandyn for bringing the drum to the club tonight. Now most of you missed but after the show, Tommie was giving a lovely drum demonstration in the dressing room. All I can say is that the rhythm certainly got her.
So until tomorrow arrives with a new day of fun I would like to remind you to be good, play safe and remember I am always and forever…
Yours,
Bette
Greetings, Salutations and a steamy Wednesday morning to all the participants in this week’s festivities.
Well, the pool had its first official midnite gatherings and it looks like everyone survived.
Now to get your morning cup of tea started, we shall have to bring up sweet Kelly from Arkansas. Now last night I noticed that Kelly was hanging out by the pool and looked like he was on the prowl. I guess he was successful in the long run. I can now share his dating secrets with all of you. Find them drunk, then follow them to their room. At that point they usually invite you in. If they can not get the door closed before you get into the room. PS, you may even get to be a top finally. Even if it has been a few years.
Since we are on the subject of promoters, I guess that we can come to Joseph of BC.Inc fame. Seems he traveled all the way to Dallas from Springfield just to have trade with a Springfield boy (who has been transplanted to Dallas).
My loyal readers all know Pennsylvania Joey and his escapades. Well, if Monica More doesn’t get a piece of Lou. Joey will gladly give it up for him.
For all of you that are desiring Miss More, she is a self proclaimed Bath House junkie so check there for him.
By the way, it is nice to see Joey looking less red than last year. But he has attempted to rectify that. At 9:00 am he was sunbathing in the Nude in a chair by his hotel room window.
Jennifer, you have a call on line 1. I can transfer it to your cell phone...If you can find it.
Update to yesterday...the missing baton has been found and happily returned to a distraught Kelexis.
Good morning David. I hope you are enjoying the visitors to Dallas. I guess you are the new official Station 4 welcome wagon. Reliable sources say this is the at least the third.hmmm
A special congratulations to the winner of Survivor:Dallas. Mama Kalani is doing well and recovering from the challenging stairs at Station 4. I think Dallas might not be a lucky place to visit for you.
I do want to make sure that everyone knows that Antonio E was a perfect angel last night. He may have been pretzled up in the hot tub, picked up a boy and headed to the room. But he claims to have passed out before he could enjoy the rewards.
Speaking of rewards. Miss Victoria West is on a mission. If only she could get laid. Now that is a direct quote from the goddess.
I would like to send out condolences to Billy Bones. Seems that everyone has him so busy making jewels he has no time for trade.
If anyone wants to visit the den of sin called the Club Dallas, Evian W is looking for a ride.
I guess Nate-Nate is on a mission. He is looking to acquire a new set of breasts. He has picked out the model and has been searching for her all night long.
Congratulations go out to CHo on the award for the best breast at the hot tub. However, she claims that at her age, all the men have nice boobs. And from the looks of it, she likes the taste of her breasts as well. If you did not think I saw you licking your nipples in the club, guess again. CW sure enjoyed the show.
I hope that Justice can make it to her nightly Tea Talk. Seems that she has had a problem staying awake at night. I guess its that bottle of stuff she has been drinking, and drinking , and drinking and drinking etc.
If anyone has seen a wayward wig, Miss Ginger has lost one. It was last seen rolling out of the elevator Tuesday afternoon. When she ran down the stairs to find it, it was already gooched. It is a red updo, be on the look out.
AMBER ALERT….AMBER ALERT we interrupt this column for a special news bulletin. Miss Hope H is among the missing. She disappeared sometime after evening gown and has not been seen since. Her party was left stranded at the Station. She was last seen in the company of a strange man while in high whore drag.
In an effort to increase her international education, Brianna is on the lookout for a Pakistani. If you know one, Bre will treat them right.
I hear it was not a party the other night in Joy’s room. She was just busy with the speakerphone to down the hall. There were only two people in her room. So she claims.
A happy anniversary wish goes out to Lisa and Pat on this their anniversary. Congratulations girls. Happy Birthday wishes go out to Onyx as well. Girl you can finally supplement the drag income with social security. As long as W doesn’t take it away from you.
Enjoy your day off today. You all deserve it. In your efforts to find fun, ,try to be good, play safe and remember I am always and forever…
Yours,
Bette
Greetings, Salutations and a glamorous welcome to the last day of preliminaries. Well the day off has been quite exciting. I do not even know where to begin.
I guess we can start with the lovely Jenn from PA. Her cell phone has been located. Somehow, she lost it in the bushes. Just what was the goddess of Pennsylvania doing in the bushes? Enquiring minds want to know.
I hear Brandyn T has been quite busy today. Poor boy is exhausted. Last seen sleeping in the sauna. I hope no one took advantage of him.
A special good morning goes out to my new friend Dusty from Iowa. I got to learn lots about him and how many times he has enjoyed extracurricular activities by himself today. Just what I wanted to know. For those of you that do not know him, he was the boy in the Spiderman Underoo’s the other night. He has moved from Gay.com to arranging trade via texting. Hi tech fun.
Lee Lee had high hopes for last night. He announced that Joseph and he were off to begin teaching math lessons. 1+1+1= Fun.
It was lovely seeing Justice kiki’ing around the bar last night with stud in tow. I hope that she got a chance to be bad.
I did have a chance to find some backup dancers trying to hide out at Zipper’s tonight. One in particular gave a great anatomy lesson to everyone in the audience. I will just leave it that.
Amber Alert Amber Alert. The previous alert for Hope H has been cancelled. She has been found safe and sound. However, we are now issuing a new Alert for Nate-Nate. He is among the missing. A slightly built San Antonio transie is also sought for questioning in the disappearance of Nate.
Speaking of Nathans. Miss Lace of Northern States has been real tricky lately. Her promoter took her down so she could get a nice rest before interview. As soon as the coast was clear, she was headed down to the pool with Brett.
2 of Natasha M’s dancers were quite proud of the little hat trick they pulled Tuesday Night. I guess the other dancers were a little jealous. But at least one headed off with his own gentleman caller last night.
I guess it was a mini bar tour for the girls from Springfield last night. They headed to the gayberhood for a little fun this evening. From what I hear, they did not see much more than the bathrooms at any of the clubs they hit.
The pageant lost and found has been busy this week. Last night Patrick lost his wallet down by the pool.
I guess Victoria W needs to head off to the tanning bed. Seems that the object of her affections Josh R likes his men a little darker.
As we head into our final night at Station 4 I would like to thank DJ Erik for all of his hard work all week. Apparently his week hasn’t been all work and no play. Sources say that only the visible half of our esteemed DJ is clothed when behind the glass. It’s just too bad that he won’t be working with us this evening. I’m sure we could have provided him with many more visitors.
To all of those that have been drooling over Monica M, it seems someone has gotten lucky tonight. Mexican dinner for two, hmmmm I hope Alexis is doing okay with out her friend.
Jessica J has been having a great time this week. Too bad her dancers have not. They had a rough night last night when they were locked out of their room. Why, might you ask. Because Jessica was entertaining her own gentleman callers.
Congratulations to Latoya Bacall for her win on Sunday night. I guess it has finally sunk in that she has won and can relax. It is reported that she hit the Kroger, raped the shelves and then came home with a car load of groceries. The empty peanut butter jars are evidence.
A special good luck to Nina D tonight. I hope it is not hard to do talent with Brian still surgically attached to your body.
Connie Jo, where are you? I have read the reports online that you are in Big D. However, I have not seen you yet. Please come and find me.
It was rather fun at Station 4 tonight. Krystal Summers hosted the best chest contest. The contest was filled with real girls, tranzies, hot men, and a few nellies. When the results came in and the best chest went to a real girl, Miss Whitney Paige was a little bitter. Her chest is much better than the winners. She has the receipts to prove how good it is. In fact, she exclaimed there were boy queens in the contest with bigger breasts than the winner.
We have one more day left to celebrate this family reunion. It is great to see the old friends and make many new ones. But always be good, play safe and remember I am always and forever…
Yours,
Bette
Greetings, Salutations and a Final Night welcome to another edition of Tea with Bette.
It seems that everyone has had a great week here in Texas. Some of the kids have a better week than others. I hope that everyone the strived to make the Tea found their name in print. If not, I guess you were discrete.
If you really want your name in print, I suggest you find the right role model. And that would a promoter. Almost all of the promoters present have found themselves in some kind of situation. I think the king (or queen) would have to be Kelly. This week was a nightly adventure in debauchery. I lost my scorecard, so it was hard to keep track.
Special get well greetings go out to Jessica from Minneapolis. Seems that her new job is taking a toll on her body. Broken toes from picking up the sun deck. Can you say workers comp.
Sean from FL sure likes the hot tub. I think you can check it out any time, night or day and find him in the water. When they say fish, that is not what they mean.
It was great to see Erika N holding court in the lobby. I think she should be sued for false advertising on her T-Shirt. I have heard her described many ways but Cunt just isn't one of them.
Now straight Jamie might have been a little confused in Miss Erika’s shadow. He took one look and fell in love. I think he is hoping he can be gay, so he can have a chance with her.
CHo did a great job being the moderator on the sundeck this AM. And she did not even have to issue any retractions, or call for last minute edits. Good Job fellow info specialist.
For those of you that don't know, Carrie Fairfield has been running around the hotel in boy drag. She may not look like her cartoons, but the t-shirts are a dead give away.
HELP Alexis Nicole Whitney would like some trade before she goes home. However, she is at a slight disadvantage. There always seems to be someone hanging on to her.
Special greetings go out to Bubba M. It is great to see you back here again. You gave us all a big scare after Miss Texas.
Dear Fred, what was that outfit you were wearing last night. It was quite creative. However, could you not afford the rest of the fabric for the skirt?
I think we should all be sure and give it up for Miss Layla. She has been fantastic all year. I think this week is a fitting end to a great reign.
Also, be sure and thank everyone from Village Station if you see them tonight. They have had to put up with Drag Queen Drama all week. Kudos on a job well done.
For those of you who now Pat, the straight girl, she has had quite the drama filled night last night. She had arranged to stay with a local drag queen. But during moments of insanity (and not on Pat’s part I might add), she joined the ranks of Dallas homeless. Oh and not just homeless but carless. Not a good night for her.
I know this tea is a little short today, but family drama has limited my time for writing. I had to take some family for a visit to the impound lot, so you had an extra hour of two to misbehave while I was wandering Dallas at night.
This week is coming to a close and we are about to crown a new Miss Gay USofA. When asked why we do this, all I can say is we are one great big, but highly dysfunctional family. And no one else can throw a family reunion like we can. Who can believe it has been 20 years since we started. I hope we see 20 more years of fun.
As we end this week and look to the future, I invite everyone to join us back here in Dallas for the Miss Gay USofA at Large Pageant on October 11-14, 2005.
So, until we gather once again, I leave you with my ever present outlook on life, always be good, play safe and remember I am always and forever…
Yours,
Bette